[Sanji snorts at the child's response, and cracks the spine and ribs of the bird he's working on with his bare hands. The noise is fantastic, this is disgusting and visceral work, and he's always going to appreciate the less pretty parts of the culinary process. It's also a good distraction from the urge to skip the talk entirely, if he's focused deeply on both work and conversation there's no out.] Do you know why, though?
[He was so scared of facing himself, so scared of how it felt to see his past in front of him, so scared of the child knowing how he grew up, what he ended up being. Sanji has no small amount of shame about a number of things, and it was easier to not equate them to being the same people. This is a child that has a chance of success on a higher level, he can be happier, more stable, better than Sanji is...
But it's not like hiding his name would protect either of them.] I was weak. I couldn't face seeing you that way, so it was easier if I tried disconnecting from who we are.
![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2019-05-22 02:30 pm (UTC)[He was so scared of facing himself, so scared of how it felt to see his past in front of him, so scared of the child knowing how he grew up, what he ended up being. Sanji has no small amount of shame about a number of things, and it was easier to not equate them to being the same people. This is a child that has a chance of success on a higher level, he can be happier, more stable, better than Sanji is...
But it's not like hiding his name would protect either of them.] I was weak. I couldn't face seeing you that way, so it was easier if I tried disconnecting from who we are.