[Text]

[desert_queen]

I'm looking for one of my assistants, she's gone missing.

Robin, are you there? We've got work to do.

[You might, however, find yourself in a busy port town with a bustling shopping scene. And in that town, you might just run across a tiny woman with a miniature bananawani hatchling sticking out of a very expensive purse. She's got her cigarette in a beautiful holder, a hoard of shopping bags hanging on her other arm, and she's definitely a little on the irritated side.

She's got a damn king to marry, and an idiot princess to dispose of fast. Or that's what she had to do. Who knows how she's going to manage now? Or more, how this world of worlds is going to manage having her.]


(OOC: Lady Crocodile, no hook, but you might wanna be careful around that hand anyway.)

Comments

[desert_queen]

[It's delightful chaos in Crocodile's opinion. And she'd enjoy it a lot more if she had a bit more control over it. But that can be had later. She needs to rein herself in a little, focus on her current plans as much as possible. Once she has more funding, more power, and better weapons? The might she'll possess will be frightening.

And that's just how she likes it.] Not a bad choice. [Gin isn't her favorite, but conversation is something for her that needs to be practiced. She could far too easily step into that cold, irritated place that's inside of her. And a woman who behaves that way has to work a lot harder to get what they want.] Oh? I'm Crocodile. [It's not like her picture and name aren't in the news just out of reach. He'll hear it eventually. The whole Miss 0 business and the secrecy thereof is for Baroque Works and some of their deeper plans. This is personal, and this man won't be involved with that.]

[callada]

[Crocodile! That's it, that's right. The warlord. Former warlord? There are always a few too many to keep up with, as the titles get exchanged. He vaguely recalls hearing of his - or apparently, her? - defeat, and stripped of the title, Crocodile had fled to one of the older kingdoms.

He swore Crocodile had been male, though, when the news had come up. Maybe he'd misheard.]

I've heard your name. Pleased to make your acquaintance.

[Which he offers with a genuine-enough smile. It certainly explains the wealth. And also the fairly shady business, potentially.

The waiter arrives with their drinks and a basket of steaming freshly-baked rolls, and a menu for each of them. He opens his up, but doesn't really focus on the text.]

So you said earlier the news is all wrong, but I didn't get a chance to ask how. Only paper I noticed on my way into town here had a year I thought was in the future. How is that possible?

[desert_queen]

I'm not surprised. I think everyone has here. I suppose it was too much to desire a low profile.

[Oh, there's finally something decent looking about him. Something that pulls him further away from Doffy in her mind. That smile is adorable, lovely and kinder than expected. And she tilts her head approvingly at it.

He's still not her type, though. And she's still pretty certain he's a member of that obnoxious gene pool.]

When I arrived, I saw a version of myself in the news. A huge, hulking man that had tried to incite a civil war, and had nearly succeeded. It was shocking. And also dated in the future. [She's trying to look worried again, saddened perhaps, and not what she really feels about the whole situation. Which is purely disappointment and disgust. Would she have ended up so useless if she hadn't begged for Ivankov's assistance? She doesn't even want to think about it.] I don't know how it's possible. But it's hardly the only thing to consider. [She pauses to look over her menu, and decides that she's not fucking getting a salad today. She's too stressed out for that, she needs real food. She's not going to pander to public opinion all of the time anyway. Just enough to make them worship her and her sweet, fragile femininity.] I found evidence of at least three different versions of Alabasta. Theoretically, that's impossible. All of it is.

[callada]

[One doesn't become a warlord to keep a low profile, but he doesn't point that out. Pirates pay attention and fear them. The Marines pay attention and use them when convenient, and scorn them the rest of the time. The role has its benefits, but it's anything but under the radar.

Noticing that the smile seems to put her at ease is pleasing, though. She's trouble and he will do well to stay on her good side for as long as is convenient. Earn money. Part amicably, with any luck. Find Law. Capture Doflamingo. The world's most difficult checklist, in the current situation, with each step an escalating challenge.]

I had thought the Crocodile I had heard of was male.

[That part is particularly strange. Even if he can accept the fact that he's here, he's alive, and the date is wrong, he had thought that was the fault of that Hadriel place. Duplicates of people and entire islands? Can't possibly be caused by the same thing, can it? He doesn't bother hiding his confusion - it would actually be worse if it looked like he knew what was going on. So he shakes his head and that smile sets itself into a frown.]

What do you think it means?

[desert_queen]

[She knows damn well that a low profile was impossible, she's not stupid, even if she tends to play down her intelligence greatly. And the whole situation amuses her too much.] I'm sure it sounds silly. But even a woman in my position occasionally desires a bit of privacy. And I assumed that in this place I'd get it. Foolish of me. [Men like it when women are docile and stupid. When they admit they're wrong. In her experiences, at least. So she keeps the act up to some degree, no matter what company she keeps aside from her highest employees and partners.

She really is trouble, but she's not likely to cause him much of it at this point. Like her male counterparts, trust is not something she has for people as a rule. She's perhaps a little more likely to let someone in, but that's a marginal chance still. So she can play nice, knowing her power will protect her if the situation arises. This means she can play nicely, and have a good time without worry if nothing else.

For now, she's going to simply wine and dine herself, and pay his way until she's bored of him.] Have you seen the pictures of him? Sir Crocodile? I was expecting something different from the headlines. He doesn't look very much like me. [She's still in shock about that, real and pure shock. It's like her youth, pushed into masculine hell. He's ugly, and she can't imagine living that way.

But he has fantastic tastes in clothes. She has to give him that.] I think there are a few potential guilty parties that we can easily point a finger at. I think someone was meddling where they shouldn't have meddled. Perhaps a few someones, working together.

[The waiter is back, and she orders herself a steak dinner. The fact that there's a fresh tomato salad on the menu is a plus too. She also gets a steak, raw and very expensive, for her little pet. Who is still sitting there like a fat awkward child, waiting for mommy to give him a treat.

Maternal instinct is a bitch, and she takes it out on the damn thing.] There are only a handful of people capable of something this foolish, that I can think of anyway. And many of them are Marine funded. Which means getting the truth about this situation out might be easier said than done.

[callada]

[He gives a polite chuckle of acknowledgment and lets her talk. Privacy? A fair desire even if hard to obtain. Sir Crocodile being different? Naturally, though he can't recall the exact details. Rosinante has surely seen the bounty posters but he's seen a lot of other ones too, and then the poster goes out of circulation when the bounty gets frozen, and it all gets lost in the shuffle.

Though come to think of it, Alabasta... wasn't his brother keeping tabs on a big-time pirate there? Potential business partner? He had lost so many of his notes to Vergo and left behind his belongings on that little rescue dinghy, and now wouldn't be the time to check, anyway. But there's something in the back of his mind suggesting there's a connection he's overlooked here. Shit. That's going to bother him.

He glances over again at the fat little reptile as she orders for it, then selects his own - and unlike her, he's definitely going for the salad. Roasted eggplant and chickpeas over lettuce and basil and a whole lot more? You bet.]

Yeah, the Marines have that scientist, right? Vegapunk. I thought he made weapons, though.

[That's public enough knowledge anyway. There are plenty of others, too, but some of them he doesn't want to lay blame on for something this big and potentially destructive. Vegapunk, though - who does a lot more than weapons - can handle a pointed finger. It wouldn't be the first time that he had stepped past the bounds Rosinante considers ethically responsible. The man is lucky he has the backing of the government to pursue his projects.]

Someone has answers. The government will probably put out a statement about it anyway. People are gonna be worried.

[The government statement will almost certainly be a selective version of the truth, but that's acceptable. The goal will be to keep civilians from panicking while they work on fixing this mess.]

[desert_queen]

There's Vegapunk, but he's not the only one to look towards. And a mind like that can do far more than just weaponry. He's a good start, but not enough. At least not alone.

[She's starting to think that this was a commissioned failure. There's always need for new technology, to push further. But playing with things that shouldn't be played with can have very dangerous results.]

I'm sure. But which government? If there's more than one of me, perhaps more than one Salvador? Then there's more than one of each of them. [Or maybe they're all just gone. Unlikely, but a nicer thing to think about.] I wonder if they're all fighting among themselves now. [She thinks so, hopes so, the idea is absolutely amusing to her. Fat cats fighting over who's the real one, that would be delightful.]

[callada]

[More than one of himself?

Somehow, that particular thought hadn't occurred to him yet. It should have but there are too many factors to consider and his mind has been racing with dealing wit the possibilities since the moment he arrived and started to notice the particular things that have gone wrong.

More than one of himself should be frightening but there's some amount of relief in the idea too. Someone who knows what he's been through, who understands the double - or perhaps triple - life he's had to lead. Someone he could talk to and plan with. Someone to help lure Doffy into his much-deserved prison cell.

On the other hand, the idea of multiple governments is pretty frightening. But if it means he'll get to be witness to Mary Geoise tearing itself apart then it will be immensely worthwhile.]

Guess there's a lot of changes we'll all have to get used to. It'll be interesting to see how it all shakes out.

[desert_queen]

Interesting is one way of putting it. [Crocodile is thrilled at just how many ways this world might end up ripping itself apart, how many arrogant bastards she can crush under her designer heels as they're too focus on their own stupidity to see that she's on her way to ruin them and take what's theirs. And she's quiet for a moment, holding and sipping her drink with the sweetest smile on her face. She's always at her prettiest when she's plotting something absolutely awful.

But she doesn't have the time to really sit and enjoy a good plot right now, and she needs more information first anyway. On top of that, the waiter is back to their table with their food. She's famished, and it's going to be hard to be slow and ladylike about it. Especially with how good it actually looks.] A decent meal, finally.

[The last place she'd eaten wasn't particularly special, and she's really hoping this actually tastes as good as it looks and smells. She sighs irritably though, the waiter has walked away and the steak for Baby has been left uncut up. And he makes such a damn mess when he eats it whole. So she works on cutting it up for him, feeling absolutely irritated and ridiculous for a moment, but it's done quickly and set in front of him.

Hopefully he won't eat the tablecloth too this time.]

[callada]

[Rosinante is quite hungry himself, even if he's learned long ago how not to show it. So if she digs in with a little more enthusiasm than is normally granted someone of her social status, he won't complain. Likely won't even notice. The salad is beautiful but he's more focused on eating it anyway.

Though he does glance over at the strange little reptile. There's something oddly pleasant about how much she clearly cares for it. Reminds him in a way of Sengoku and that goat - an animal he had always had a fondness for after it helped break him out of his shell when he was so young. Perhaps it's still around with the former fleet admiral somewhere.]

How long have you had him? Or her. [How would one even know, really?]

[desert_queen]

[By not fussing over her eating, which is still pretty polite, just not fragile lady polite, he's ensuring his employment in her inner circle a little longer. She looks for quite a few traits in people she keeps close to her. And useful doesn't always follow the traditional ideas.

Sometimes just not annoying her into murderous rage is enough to be useful

She eats another bite, chews and swallows carefully, and then sighs at the question.] Roughly three weeks. His name is Baby. [You can tell by having a vet do the dirty work. She's certainly not sexing a bananawani.] He is a rare pet. They rarely stay anywhere near this small, he's a toy variety bred for me.

[callada]

Three weeks? I guess he must be pretty young still then. Think he'll get any bigger at all?

[The way she fusses over him, she's clearly attached. He would have thought she'd had him longer. Buying him a fancy steak dinner rather than just feeding him scraps of raw meat, for example. If that's not love for a pet, what is?

And who the hell breeds toy varieties of enormous animals specifically for one woman, anyway? Sure, she's ridiculously wealthy - so maybe that's all it is. She probably has a cadre of pet breeders or something.]

[desert_queen]

He's a hatchling still. He should top off at under seventy-five pounds, the smallest estimated weight of any of the smaller varieties. [He's really a treasured pet, and something she can spoil unconditionally. The damn thing doesn't care what her goals are, or who she wants to destroy, or what country she's working to take over. He doesn't care about her clothes, or her shoes, unless he's eating them and that's another issue entirely. Baby is beloved because he's trustworthy. Something that doesn't exist in her world, something that makes it worth allowing the little beast close without conditions.

Unless he's gone after another pair of leather pumps again. That's making a condition.Then he's sleeping on his pet bed alone until she's calmed down.] One of the men who have interest in me gave him to me as a gift. I have to say, as obnoxious as he is, he knows me far better than my fiancé does.

[callada]

Still a pretty big pet. But manageable, like a big dog, right?

[He smiles. Yeah, just a big, toothy dog. One that ought to be unnerving but he can't help it, it's just kind of amusing instead. Maybe because he doesn't have to live with it trying to chew his arm off or anything like that.

The gin and tonic empties before he finishes his salad, but he has the waiter bring ice water instead of a second drink. A refreshing follow-up. A woman with power and money must attract a lot of prospective suitors and he does not envy her at all for that.]

Some people are like that. Intuitive, even if you can't stand them. At least he got you a nice gift. May I ask who you're engaged to?

[desert_queen]

Something like that. Too bad he's already got a taste for custom leather heels. 700 beri gone in 3 minutes. And the maker isn't alive anymore. [She gives the chomping beast a half-hearted glare, and it's obvious from it's full body wiggle that it adores her. And it just makes her more irritated, how dare he be cute when he's already in trouble?

She's on her second bourbon sour now, she's got a pretty amazing alcohol tolerance thankfully so she can't really make a fool of herself with it.]

He always knows what I like, and what I hate. And he teases me mercilessly. [Her face reddens at remembering Doflamingo and the stupid bullshit he pulls. But he buys her nice things that she actually enjoys, and remembers what her favorite drinks are, and likes it when she glares and smokes and eats excessively. She can threaten him, insult him and he just laughs. Absolutely determined and unafraid. Then again, she never gives him a straight-up no. That's probably a very bad idea with him.

She wants to kill him so much right now, just from getting under her skin and being so shameless. But she wants to kill Cobra even more.] My betrothed? Nefertari Cobra. [He asked. She's a public figure, there's no hiding it. Especially when it's on the local newsstands.

She feels for a moment that she should say something pleasant about him, something to make the situation seem happy and enjoyable. But she's too tired of everything to gush about him right now. Especially when she honestly dislikes him greatly.] It's something of an arranged marriage. But he's fond of me. So perhaps it will work out in everyone's favor.

[callada]

Shame about the shoes.

[It's awful but he chuckles anyway. Just look at the little thing's face! He really is like a dog - one that adores its owner's attention even when it's negative.

No comment on the irritating suitor, really, but the name of her husband to be does cause him to lift his eyebrows slightly in surprise.]

The king of Alabasta? Wow. Well, congratulations. When's the wedding set for?

[So that's why she seems to have been following the news about the place. As far as arranged marriages go, that's a big one. Queen of one of the oldest kingdoms in the world is nothing to be dismissive of.]

[desert_queen]

I'll make shoes out of him if he eats another pair.

[He tone is cool, but she looks over at Baby again and huffs. The eating machine is at no risk of becoming a part of a wardrobe anytime soon.

She forces her sweetest, most grateful smile possible at his congratulations. That's how a lady reacts. Especially one who's known for her fierce love, her kind demeanor, known for how she's sacrificed and struggled to be a vigilante of the seas and sand. A woman worth bringing into royalty.] Few women in life will ever be a queen. I'll want for nothing. And I'll be able to help bring peace to the chaotic seas through the union we'll share. [She almost feels sick. This act is a lot easier when Robin is here to give her cues, to gesture when she's starting to crack in her expressions, when her voice shakes with the anger of the stupid act.

She's so glad she has that drink.] But that's not important right now. And I've got something else on my mind. [She tilts her head, and swallows another mouthful of soothing drink. The burn and sourness and sweetness all come together to make her calm down just enough to chat. And she leans forward, and looks Salvador over, and she mentally edits him a bit.] I know someone who looks a bit like you. You probably just have that sort of face, though. [And legs. Why does that family have such long legs?]

[callada]

[Her words sound ever so slightly rehearsed, but there's nothing innately wrong with that. It's a nice sentiment. Even if she doesn't fully believe it - as a woman who seems more interested in luxury may not - she probably isn't wrong. She has a lot of influence and power, and that's the sort of thing political marriages are made of. Besides, King Nefertari seems like a just enough ruler from what he knows, and Alabasta has been remarkably stable. Seems fine.

All discussion of that topic seems lost when she shifts to target him, though she kindly also gives him an out in the same breath. He shrugs, finishes his bite of eggplant and swallows, then smiles, unafraid of meeting her eyes. Looking shifty or ashamed would be a huge mistake. Instead he just looks mildly confused. Quirks an eyebrow. That last bite of food had given him the few seconds he needed to hide any genuine reaction he might otherwise have had. His brother had undoubtedly had dealings with the Crocodile in his world, so it's no major shock this one also knows Doffy.]

Funny you say that, yeah, I get that from time to time. Who's my doppelganger?

[desert_queen]

Your doppleganger? Hardly. [She works on her meal for a minute, and then cuts off another large bite of her steak and puts it on Baby's plate. Better that than have him acting out, he made quick work of that thing. She'll have the waiter bring another when he comes back by again, but this will do for now.]

Cobra isn't the only king vying for my attention. The one you look a little like isn't my type though. [Another drink.] Surely you know of Doflamingo. [He's enough of her type to get her to sit on his lap, tiny and fragile and monstrous, rolling her eyes at his endless words.] He's the one that gave me Baby. [She looks over Rosinante again, though. Eyeing him for a moment.] Maybe I'm wrong. Anyone related to that bastard would make my blood boil.

[callada]

Heard of him, sure, who hasn't? Never thought I looked much like him, though.

[In truth, it's not the first time someone has compared them without realizing they are, in fact, related. He got it from fellow Marines now and then, who were prone to wondering. But both being tall and blonde doesn't make them related, and it helps that Doffy keeps his stupid shades on all the time. He just lets the comparison - and that note of anger in her voice - roll off him with a shrug as he has another bite of his meal.]

He's still king for you, though? I thought he got put behind bars. That Straw Hat kid and that other warlord did him in.

[desert_queen]

So far, he's absolutely in control of Dressrosa. But the mighty fall hard it seems, against the young and determined.

[She tilts her head, eyeing Rosinante for a moment. She keeps hearing about how this Straw Hat kid wrecks her business, and others efforts too. And this is a problem already in her mind. She's a woman in power, she has plans and designs and she's got to learn from mistakes that are being made to actually keep herself on top.

Shit. She needs more of a drink than she can actually have in public.] It seems like this young man is really making a name for himself. Then again, people get careless and let ambition be a master instead of a servant. And that makes room for failure.

[callada]

[Thoughtful words from someone who clearly has masterful ambitions. People who upset the balance of power are frightening. Even when it's for a good reason, like he's been assured is the case with Straw Hat, it's hard to accept that the outcome is as positive as the ideals. Uprooting warlords and emperors and kings leaves those places vulnerable while they work to restore what's left after the fighting is over. It's why he chose the Marines and stayed with them until it wasn't possible. They're not perfect, but their stability helps keep people safe. It's what he wanted to be, when he was younger. Someone big and strong who could protect the weak and helpless. The world is a harsh, scary place for someone who struggles daily just to survive.

Whatever Crocodile wants to do with her soon-to-be-royal status, hopefully she just helps to govern the country. He's distrustful of anyone with the wealth and status she has because usually it meant she had to trample others to get to it, but sometimes it can still be used for good.]

Yeah. Can't say I know much about him, though. Where I'm from, nobody really talked about him. Guess that's about to change, though. He's got a lot of influence and it's spreading. Hopefully he doesn't want anything with Alabasta.

[desert_queen]

[She's a careful, devious woman with goals that are far reaching and complex. However, she's also not so egotistical that she thinks she's immortal or untouchable. And if men like her counterparts and Doflamingo himself can be taken out by this brat? He's definitely something to worry about. Someone who puts men that she considers at her level in Impel Down cannot be underestimated or ignored.

What she wants to do with that status? Increase her power and her military might. Integrating her own forces into the country, and using the set up assassination of a king to ensure the support of a fragile and afraid people who are struggling from the elements and from internal conflict.

But after seeing how things have gone for her counterparts, she's not sure if she can go from point A to point B so easily.] It sounds like I'll be fine, as long as I don't behave so cruelly as my counterparts have. Then again, our goals seem to be very different.

[callada]

Mm. What exactly have the other versions of you done? I must confess, aside from hearing your name, I never paid much attention past that.

[After all, what would some sailor want with following the news so carefully? If he's coming across as just this side of simple, just slightly undereducated without being a complete dunce, then he's hitting his goal. Useful, pleasant to talk to, but not bright or ambitious or informed enough to be a threat. To what exact goal, he doesn't yet know other than just getting paid, but it's an opportunity and he'll take it. Being close to someone with political power could be remarkably interesting.]

[desert_queen]

There's a whole laundry list of poor choices. Murder, subterfuge, kidnapping and the like. Oh, and inciting civil war. That can't really be ignored. [She stops the waiter to get a coffee to enjoy. There's only so much alcohol a lady can get away with drinking in public, her smoking is already seen as a disgusting flaw when judgements come down upon her. She hates that, her few vices have to be carefully concealed to protect herself.

The only thing she envies about her male counterparts is what they can get away with socially.]

I'm different. My reputation has been built up in a different way. Things like that don't suit ladies. And that's why I'm going to become a queen, while they're in and out of Impel Down. [She looks over after a second, visibly amused.] I'm been called the kind lady of the seas. Saint Crocodile. [She laughs, it's been a pain getting that sort of reputation built up, murdering pirates left and right, saving the day, protecting the people and all for the good of a hurt world.

Bah, they're all so stupid to believe it.]