video;

[deviledlegs]

[Well. With all the shit happening right now, there's really only one thing Sanji can say to give this smart snail a proper test.]

Catch me an animal I've never seen before, and your whole shitty crew gets free lunch.

Comments

[deviledlegs]

[He's a painfully easy read, it's true.]

Sounds pretty par for the course. [He snorts. Unintentionally dropping down onto unsuspecting islands. Welcome to the Grand Line.] Work hard, then stop by and eat your fill.

[chief_of_staff]

With hunting? No, not necessarily. I just never need to do it to eat, and I'm not feeling like this is an exception to that.

[desert_queen]

[She's starting to suspect this. But she's gotten enough information on him to know that he's valuable. And part of the stupid crew that took her counterparts down and ruined their plans.] How sweet. And oh, how did I not realize how famous you are. It'd be a pleasure to eat food made from such talented hands. [She leans in, fur around her like a cloud, and takes a long drag off of her cigarette. A heart shaped cloud of smoke soon follows.

Ugh, she needs more drink than this whole world offers for this. But he's useful, and maybe she can use Robin to sweeten the deal. She hasn't seen much on his captain being around, so if she can hook him in, she's got another powerful man in the Baroque Works ranks.] And how convenient, you're already acquainted with her too.

[yourotherleft]

[what is thinking can you eat it]

What, are we out of food already? Dammit Luffy...

Anyway you'll get nothing and deal with it, I don't even know which island this is.

[callada]

If I work out a way to travel where and when I actually want to, I'll let you know.

[deviledlegs]

[Well. As long as he eats, it isn't really Sanji's concern how he gets the food. Something in that voice makes it sound like he'd be too noble to steal anyway.]

Then you're a lucky guy!

How 'bout this: Catch one alive, and I'll feed your new pet.

[deviledlegs]

You've heard of me then?

[Is it even possible for a man to perk up more than this? Sanji just made it possible. His eyes alight in hearts to match her smoke ring, and his real heart beats right out of his chest.]

And I've heard of her?!

Then I must get to know you too! Who is this lucky lovely who assists you?

[desert_queen]

You're the famous chef from the Straw Hat pirates, aren't you? Your reputation precedes you. A powerful, and talented man.

[That cannot be healthy. She's honestly disturbed, and that takes a lot to do.]

I'd love to get to know you better. And my assistant? Her name is Nico Robin.

[deviledlegs]

[The world would be a better place if you could.]

I'm not even on the ship, dammit!

But I'm not surprised that you're lost. Just keep running in circles. You'll dig your way somewhere important eventually.

[deviledlegs]

[Yeah, he's snickering.]

Keep jumping, and you'll get there eventually, right?

[deviledlegs]

[Aaaaaand he immediately falls flat on his face.

BRB, scrambling to his knees and sloppily repositioning the smartsnail.]

Miss Robin... is your assistant?

[This is sounding awfully familiar!]

[desert_queen]

[That's one hell of a reaction. It's certainly not the first time she's caused a man to fall flat on his face, but it's way more dramatic when she's not even in the same area. He's hilarious, at least he is when he's not disgusting and disturbing. Or maybe he's all of those things all at once, she's not sure. But she's amused enough that she's not ending this yet.

She's acting so coy, she's so sweet looking and ladylike, leaning in for a good look at the SmartSnail screen because if he's figured this out, she wants to have an amazing view of the footage as he reacts. Come on, loverboy, don't give up the overreactions yet.]

She is. And you two are usually acquainted. How fortunate. [She takes another drag off of the cigarette, and smiles. Oh, this is actually worth it. This is fun. And she doesn't get a lot of fun these days.]

[callada]

I've known a few with that motto and sometimes it actually works, despite all reason.

[Shrug. He tends to err on the cynical side in most endeavors but the world is a crazy place and sheer determination does have its value.]

Maybe I'll get lucky on the thirtieth leap.

[yourotherleft]

I'm not lost! You guys are the ones who disappeared, you're lost!

[Zoro logic. But by all rights, stepping through the bathroom door onto another island really isn't his fault, for once.]

[deviledlegs]

[His hesitant smile is definitely twitching at the edge there.]

Then who do I have the pleasure of speaking to right now?

[desert_queen]

[This is absolutely amazing. He's so fun to tease.]

Oh? You seem nervous. [Good. She likes that.] You're speaking with Lady Crocodile, of Alabasta. But you figured that out already, didn't you?

[deviledlegs]

[Yeah, that's his captain and first mate exactly.]

It takes a special breed, that's for damn sure. Keep count for me.

[deviledlegs]

I am definitely less lost than you.

[Does it actually matter when they're both very lost?










Yes.]

[deviledlegs]

[Nervous? He's terrified.]

My Lady, you wouldn't happen to have a brother, would you? An overzealous uncle perhaps? A cousin twice removed?

[desert_queen]

[This is the best.] Why would you ask such a thing? [She runs a stiletto manicured nail over her prominent scar, red against long healed ridges, and looks at him like he's prey.] It's just me here. Why are you bringing strange men into the conversation?

[yourotherleft]

[hang on a mo...

...for real, there's this long pause while the wheels turn]

You just admitted that you're lost. Good job, cook.

And for the record there's no way you're less lost than I am. [okay he should've quit while he was ahead]

[chief_of_staff]

Pet?

[He's really confused by that term, there.]

I don't have a pet. It's just me here, as far as I'm aware.

[Referring to the rest of the Army, of course.]

[fleurista]

[It's so nice to be appreciated.]

To do with as we please, yes, of course.

[Don't give Robin your soul, she will do creepy things with it.]

[deviledlegs]

[He asks out of vain hope. It's the only thing keeping his brain working right now.]

Oh, I don't mean to offend! Just one look at your stunning beauty - even through this screen! - is enough to fill my mind to the brim! There's no room for a single ugly bastard in those lovey-dovey fantasies!

It's just that- [Ahem. Awkward cough into hand is go.] Sir Crocodile of Alabasta was not fond of me, you see.

[deviledlegs]

[As dry as burnt toast.]

When I get lost, it's not because I went right two seconds after someone told me to turn left.